1:09 p.m. Warm-ups for both teams ending, leading to starting lineup intros: Warriors are wearing the Hardwood Classics. Nice. These seats are incredible, although I still can’t believe Monta is as tall as I am.
1:10 p.m.: The Warriors’ intro montage is amazing: Jimi Hendrix-Purple Haze, the video screen featuring a Monta lob followed by a Rick Barry to Nate Thurmond lay-up…Goosebumps abound.
They have a kid doing the intros, and he’s surprisingly good at reading the Warriors’ starters as opposed to the Timberwolves’. He mangled the T-Wolves’ names so badly, the whole Minnesota squad was laughing during the pregame huddle.
1:12 p.m.: Stephen Jackson on the mic, just to thank us for coming out and to remember Martin Luther King today. I think the line in Vegas would have to be the Warriors (-36) for me not to bet on the home team today.
Warriors/Timberwolves 1st Quarter:
11:14: Monta hook shot, 6 feet away. Nice Abdul Jabbar, Monta!. 2-2 Warriors
9:45: Monta to Biedrins, dunk. Biedrins just might have gotten sprayed with Mystic this morning.
8:06: Monta fouled while shooting a jumper, Monta has 10 of the Warriors 12 points. Could be a 30-point day for him, who knows?
6:01: Timeout Timberwolves, who lead 13-12. Just realized Violet Palmer is one of the officials. The over/under on technical fouls this game: 2.
5:13: Baron was just fouled on his first shot attempt. Strangely quiet intro for Baron. Both free throws missed!
2:45: Ellis hits a 21-footer. 13 points in the first quarter for Monta! 22-21 Wolves.
1:47: Pietrus just shot one off the side of the backboard. When the corner isn’t working for him…uh oh.
1:34: Pietrus just threw the ball out of bounds. Can I cash in my Pietrus bandwagon ticket now or after the game?
1:00: Marko Jaric is unbelievable tonight! Why does he do this to fantasy basketball players every year? This game will definitely lead to at least 1,000 Jaric adds tomorrow.
0:00: Baron hit the corner of the backboard on a buzzer-beating three attempt. 33-23 T-Wolves, another reminder why I should never gamble on sports.
Warriors/Timberwolves 2nd Quarter:
12:00 Ladies and gentlemen, my girlfriend: Not only has she noticed the Warriors’ Hardwood Classics have shorter shorts than the normal uni’s (and she, of course, has no problem with that)…her other observation has to do with the Warrior Girls and their, uh, other lines of possible work (hint: dancing experience required).
11:11: Antoine Walker just entered the game. He’s in good shape (sarcasm implied).
9:20: Davis to Barnes for a fast break dunk (a little UCLA love right there). 38-32 T-Wolves, and Randy Whitman calls timeout. What, a six-point lead isn’t good enough? You’re worried about your rotation right now?
8:05: Stephen Jackson takes a three when the Warriors have numbers, and hits it. Do any crowds wait for made three’s by the home team as much as they do in Oakland or Phoenix?
7:34: Al Harrington three to tie the score at 40-40…I guess the three’s-all-the-time strategy works sometimes.
7:00 Matt Barnes dunk…Warriors lead 42-40!
3:45: How is Antoine such a horrible free-throw shooter? 0-for-2.
3:07: An on-fire Barnes hits a three to give him 13 points. If he stays in the league he’s definitely going to earn the Rick Fox Award, given to the most hated NBA player by opposing fans.
2:49: Martin Luther King, Jr. lived only 39 years. Just thought it was worth noting.
0:00: A lot of Monta, a lot of Barnes, and the Warriors somehow escape with a 52-49 lead at the half.
Warriors/Timberwolves 3rd Quarter:
12:00 Barnes starting the second half for Biedrins. Gotta love Nellie, he knows how upset Biedrins is about the showery conditions outside. No bod can lay out in weather like this.
9:35: Ryan Gomes just got fouled. Hits the first free throw. He has 25 points?!?! When did that happen? Second free throw in, and 26 points for the Gomer. Odd game so far all around.
7:37: Timeout: Timberwolves lead 65-63. Monta hasn’t taken a shot in the second half, nor has Baron. It’s like the entire team is waiting until the last possible moment to get it going. Not the smartest idea, even against the Timberwolves.
7:27: Monta hits two free throws after being fouled on a drive to the basket. No Biedrins at all this half. Maybe he’s out of aloe.
6;49: Harrington three, Warriors lead 68-67. Can I change my prediction from a blowout to a game that’s in doubt until the very end?
6:03: Nellie: Olive sport coat, yellow shirt (no collar), brown shoes. And a tremendous head of hair. Yes, I’m jealous.
4:12: Monta with a floater in the lane…20 points for the only Warrior trying right now.
4:02: Biedrins with foul number five. Do you think he knows I’m here scrutinizing his tanning habits?
2:30: Timberwolves 80-75…the Warriors are playing no defense…
2:25: But Bookie hits a 3, and all is not lost. 80-78.
0:55.6: 83-78, Timberwolves – at least we’re getting an exciting game here. It’s fun watching Sebastian Telfair and Marko Jaric fight for the role of team leader on the Timberwolves. Both are so shaky but talented at the same time. My prediction: neither is still in the league in 5 years. Of course I predicted a Warriors blowout win about an hour and a half ago, so don’t listen to me.
0:00: 85-80, T-Wolves. I don’t remember Baron even playing in the third quarter. Nellie seems to be coaching this game like Phil Jackson. No timeouts, barely leaving he bench, and it seems that he’s trying to make the team figure out how to play without Baron. Now they’re five points down. I don’t think he’s worried, although I am.
Monta’s fav food is mac and cheese =)
(That last part was typed by my girlfriend)
Warriors/Timberwolves 4th Quarter
11:22: Baron just fullbacked his way through the lane, and he got the foul. Anybody else notice that Baron’s getting a lot more calls this year? I can’t believe no technical fouls have been called so far.
10:54: Jaric hits a three. Jaric 16 points, Walker 0.
10:40: Corey Brewer is skinner than I was after contracting mononucleosis during my senior year of high school. Lucky for him, his skinniness doesn’t make his head look freakishly large like mine did when I hit 145 pounds at 6’2″.
10:05: Warriors down 11 right now…92-81. Getting dicey here.
9:47: Baron three. 92-84 Wolves. Not over yet, hardly.
8:42: Bukie put-back – Oh, the Warriors crowd is loud for the first time today! Minnesota up 92-88.
8:28: Al Jefferson has a huge dome. When your head looks big on top of 6’10 and 265, you are definitely the opposite of Eva Longoria. Now THAT’S me after my high school bout with mono.
8:05: Barnes with the layup…and the foul! Is he wearing the same shoes he played with in college? Somebody tell him he isn’t required to wear plain Adidas with gold stripes, Steve Lavin isn’t here.
7:42: Traveling on Jefferson, called by V-Palm. You know, she’s had a pretty decent game so far. I figured Stephen Jackson would have been ejected by now.
6:25: Walker hits a three for his first points of the game and sadly, no shimmy-shake. 96-91, Wolves
5:43: I knew I shouldn’t have spoken so soon. Bukie gets called for a horrendous offensive foul by Violet. Al Jefferson was flinching, cringing and backing up at the same time when Bukie collided with him. I don’t think he had great position, to put it mildly.
Timeout note: do you think the Warrior Girls are upset that nearly every single break in the action features dancers better than they are? Almost every break at Oracle features kid dancers that could easily make the cut for a Missy Elliot video. I think the Warrior Girls should campaign for stripper poles to be lowered from the ceiling between quarters to give them a fair chance.
4:57: Biedrins just fouled out. Up to Baron, Stack, Monta and Barnes to win this one. Baron has the quietest 14 points ever, by the way.
4:15: Three pointer, Stack. I think my girlfriend is in love with Stephen Jackson, which is more than a little frightening.
3:55: Tip-in by Al-Jeff.
3:50: Stack with another three!
3:26: Crowd loudest it’s been all day (sadly, that’s not saying much)…Gomes is fouled again! Missed the first free throw…Made the second…31 points! 103-101 Wolves
3:05 Monta put-back, tie game!
2:56: Gomes turnaround hook, T-Wolves up 2.
2:35: Monta layup off a sweet pass from Harrington, tie game 105-105.
2:14: Antoine Walker with a put-back, Wolves lead by two.
2:00: I guess we’re at the two-minute warning. I am happy about several things…for one, Biedrins has tan palms according to the girlfriend, meaning he’s officially a fake-and-baker. Secondly, the crowd had almost no empty spaces except next to my seat because we’re in row 11 and whoever owns the seats next to ours have something better to do than watch the Warriors struggle against the worst team in the NBA: Great Success!
2:00 C.J. Watson hits both free throws, 107-107…everyone on the Warriors has a single digit uniform number right now, if that matters.
1:36: Jaric shoots an airball.
1:08: Tried to start a “Let’s Go Warriors” chant, but it didn’t go beyond the rows behind or in front of us. Baron hits a free throw, 108-107 Warriors!
0: 54: Gomes having the game of his life, gets fouled again in the act. Hits the first. Hits the second. 109-108. 35 points for Ryan Gomes, which should cause Nellie to make the team run suicides for at least 15 minutes at tomorrow’s practice.
0:40: Baron misses a three, Wolves get another rebound.
0:06.9: Still one point down…Warriors timeout.
0:00: Baron drives the length of the floor, clear look, and no-go. Misses the layup, Harrington misses the put-back, and the Warriors lose 109-108 to the T-Wolves. Um, wow. Not a good showing…Unless you’ve won 50 games in a season in the past decade, it’s not a good idea to take entire quarters off, and the Warriors used the first and third quarters as glorified practices. Still, a fun game to watch, just to see Biedrins’ tan and Al-Jeff’s Dome were enough to make me happy.
Warriors/Timberwolves Finishing thoughts:
Ryan Gomes 35 points. Mad-Dog: 0 minutes, a lot of spirit.
Warriors who tried today: Monta, Barnes, and to a lesser extent Baron and Stack.
Warriors who might as well not have shown: Harrington, Biedrins and Pietrus (just trade him now, he’s about to become the next Mike Dunleavy, Jr. in about a week or so).
Overall, a horrendous game for the Warriors, who lost a home game to the worst team in the league. If they miss the playoffs by one game, this will be the one to point to.