Thank you, NFL. Thanks for rightly believing that preseason games are just as important as regular season contests. Thank you for charging full price for all tickets, and extending your revolutionary and completely fair blackout policy to exhibition games. Local television blackouts rightly teach us to feel guilty about how little we respect and worship your product, whatever form it may take.
I think I can speak for all fans, whether they back the San Francisco 49ers or the Raiders of Oakland, in that we deserve the broadcast of this classic battle to be pushed back three hours locally.
Maybe these three hours will give us time to think and reflect on what we’ve done. In fact, I suddenly have the urge to buy Raiders season tickets to ensure this never happens again. Sure, I won’t attend any of the games, but think of the backbreaking work the NFL does to put these contests on display for our enjoyment! And we just spit in their face, as if games don’t count simply because they don’t show up in a team’s record and are usually decided by third-string special teamers? How ungrateful we’ve become.
I’m truly sorry, NFL. I wish I could have acted faster and purchased the cheapest tickets available, to help the NFL in their push towards the sellouts they so richly deserve in Oakland. Did you know that for just $129, two people can sit in section 326, row 11, seats 11-12? Those are prime seats on the sideline behind the north end zone in the third deck, as if you didn’t already know. Do you have any idea how tall you feel sitting up there? When will l I ever have another opportunity to watch Darrius Heyward-Bey and Ted Ginn drop passes in a relaxed environment? Or witness David Carrcia getting sacked repeatedly in person? And I squandered the opportunity, for what? To record the game so I could watch it after going out to dinner (or more likely, the next day)? I make myself sick.
I’d buy the tickets this second if it meant the blackout would be rescinded, but I selfishly forgot to look for tickets before the Thursday deadline. I can’t believe I could ever be so inconsiderate. I can barely look in the mirror, and I’m sure those of you reading who neglected to buy tickets to tomorrow night’s game feel the same way.
So NFL, I come to you on my knees, begging for forgiveness from a truly selfless organization. You want to shorten players’ careers with an 18-game season, and it’s all for our benefit! I hope someday I can find some way repay you.
Wait, you want me to buy tickets to the Raiders/ Seahawks preseason game next Thursday? Um, I think I’m busy that night….