Kobe Bryant

That’s MRS. Kobe Bryant to you!

Vanessa Bryant, Kobe’s loving and faithful wife, has been through a lot. She’s a survivor. She went through the Kobe sex scandal a couple years back and stood by her man asking for nothing in return. Except for diamonds of course. But those don’t really count.

Vanessa, diamonds and all, has been Kobe’s rock and has taken a lot of criticism and never cracked. Until now. Over what you may ask? A purple tutu. No, not one of her daughter’s. But the puple tutu that she wore the night Kobe was presented with the MVP Award. And no, I’m not kidding.

Laura Lane, an ESPN The Magazine reporter, had commented on Mrs. Bryant’s weird clothing choice in the purple tutu on her personal blog. Mrs. Bryant heard about it and confronted Lane outside the Lakers’ locker room and pretty much ripped her a new one. Lane wrote about it on her blog today which has since been taken down. However, you can check out the transcript of what went down here.

According to Lane’s blog, you’ve “made it” as a sports reporter once Vanessa Bryant has cussed you out. My question is, how can I get Vanessa Bryant to cuss me out so I can “make it” too?!

The tutu has already been done. Too bad because that would’ve been super easy. But I think I can handle a challenge. So, here are my top ten conversation starters for Vanessa Bryant to get Bay Area Sports Guy the national attention it truly deserves:

1. Hey Kim Kardashian, that was some tape you made!

2. Cute little boys you and Kobe have — do they really need to be wearing tutus though?

3. It’s so nice that Kobe is so sweet to all the Lakers girls. Quite a perk of the job to get so many diamonds.

4. Hey! Congrats on your pregnancy! Oh, umm, nevermind.

5. So, Colorado feels like “home” to Kobe, huh?

6. Hi, actually, do you know where Eva Longoria is? I hear she’s at this game too.

7. Is that a new nose? Oh, really?

8. Looks like a cubic zirconia to me. Tom Shane told me so.

9. Laura Lane is the best journalist I’ve ever known.

10. Hey, have you seen Kobe’s new Aston Martin’s video? Yeah, he’s totally naked except for the shoes.

Now all I have to do is sneak into the Lakers’ locker room. I’m sure BASG won’t mind! It is for a good cause after all.

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