Alex Smith

The Niners are still a 7-9 team

It’d be fun to get all excited about the potential of the 49ers and their new/old quarterback after today’s second half almost-comeback against the Houston Texans, but it’s just too exhausting. The Texans were prepared to face the soft-tossing Shaun Hill, and A-dot Smith surprised Houston by not crapping the bed — although those two delay penalties were both crippling and embarrassing at the same time.

The 49ers’ offense was able to carve up Houston’s prevent defense for a couple of quarters, which isn’t really all that great a feat considering the Texans’ defense ranks in the bottom half of the league in both points and yards allowed. It was nice that Mike Singletary heeded the calls coming from living rooms all over Northern California and replaced Hill after halftime, but it was too late. Now the Niners will wake up tomorrow knowing full well the chances they’ll probably be 3-4 after traveling to Indy to face the Colts (who are already 11 point favorites).

After all the commotion, the Singletary man-crushes we all had in September and the Crabtree signing (and solid performance today, more on that later), we’re still probably looking at a 7-9 team. For the third year in a row. Sigh.

Chilo Rachal just missed another block while you were reading this…

The offensive line seems to be getting worse by the week. It’s impossible to imagine the 49ers’ defensive line getting any pressure on the quarterback when rushing three guys, but the Texans had no problem doing so today. Signing Marvel Smith during the offseason and figuring the o-line was set was a Sabeanesque decision.

Now that Hill has been benched, Isaac Bruce might as well retire.

Man, that DirecTV ad with the “fat guy in a little coat” scene from Tommy Boy is creepy. You know, because it looks like David Spade hasn’t aged.

I can’t wait for the next DirecTV ad, featuring Jake Gyllenhaal half-listening to Heath Ledger say “I wish I knew how to quit you” before talking about how many channels he can watch Brokeback Mountain on in HD.

Chris Myers’ jokes, which included “He went down faster than Lehman Brothers” after the Niners sacked Matt Schaub, were even more groan-inducing than usual.

Of course, what else would you expect from a Fox announcer? I just heard Tim McCarver say, “If the Phillies face CC Sabathia in Game One of the World Series, you can be sure the Yankees won tonight.”

And the Fox robot still exists, by the way. Apparently he’s been taking guitar lessons. That stupid creation is the worst thing on television that isn’t on TLC.

With Crabtree already looking like the best wide receiver on the team, it was unforgivable that they didn’t try a long pass to him, especially in the first half when the Texans were playing what looked like 11 men in the box. Hill’s Ken Dorsey-like arm was a factor, but the even the 1985 Bears threw the ball downfield to Willie Gault from time to time.

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